The Daily Devil’s Dictionary: Tom Perez Defines “Accomplishment”
Having lost the election and unable to affect policy, the Democratic Party’s chairman, Tom Perez, enriches the English language.
TODAY’S 3D DEFINITION: ACCOMPLISHMENT
On October 21, the Democratic National Committee’s chairman, Tom Perez, expanded the English language by turning the traditional noun of accomplishment into an adjective.
Here is what Perez said:
“If someone ever asks you which wing of the party you belong to, tell ‘em you belong to the accomplishment wing of the Democratic Party, because you’re trying to get shit done. That’s what we’re trying to do here, folks. We’re trying to move the ball forward.”
Politicians in Washington value accomplishment so dearly because there is so little of it inside the Beltway. They also understand that voters actually expect it to occur. It’s a simple application of the scarcity principle: rarity determines value. That is why turning the traditional noun into an adjective can be considered, in itself, an accomplishment.
Here is its 3D definition:
1. committed to the activity of proposing and effectively passing legislation pleasing to both the hierarchy of one’s party and the lobbyists as well as other vested interests, who guarantee politicians’ survival and future prosperity
2. monomaniacally focused on winning a contest
Perez bravely described “a culture of corruption” in the Trump administration made visible by the media’s daily reporting on the turpitudes of those who inhabit the corridors of power (Republicans). He then “warned that internal ruckuses over party priorities and leadership would distract from the goal of winning more elections.” The noble aim is to permit the Democrats, at some future point in time, to manage Washington’s culture of corruption. It is a well-established truth that when politicians see winning increasingly expensive elections as their unique goal — rather than, for example, equitably governing the nation — corruption will be the inevitable result.
“That’s what we’re trying to do here, folks. We’re trying to move the ball forward.” Perez employs the metaphor of NFL football to make his point. This helps his public to understand that politics is similar to a zero-sum winner-take-all sport in which helmeted behemoths crash into each other until the one holding the ball falls to the ground.
*[In the age of Mark Twain and Oscar Wilde, another American wit, the journalist Ambrose Bierce, produced a series of satirical definitions of commonly used terms, throwing light on their hidden meanings in real discourse. Bierce eventually collected and published them as a book, The Devil’s Dictionary, in 1911. We have shamelessly appropriated his title in the interest of continuing his wholesome pedagogical effort to enlighten generations of readers of the news.]
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