[This is the second part of an ongoing series. To read more, see Part 1 here.]

Caffè Italiano: The two meet again and order drinks and food. The EU bureaucrat takes out a notepad, and his pen hovers over it. He’s all ears.

EU bureaucrat: I talked to my boss. She confirmed what I said yesterday: You can’t treat Muslims as one group. There’s tremendous diversity in the Islamic world and even among European Muslims. There isn’t one Islam in practice.

Islamofactist: That is factually correct, but it misses an important aspect. Let’s explore this from the Muslim and Islamic points of view. Is it a fact that the 57 Islamic countries of the world have organized themselves as the Organization for Islamic Cooperation (OIC), which states it is the “collective voice of the Muslim world” and thus considers Muslims as one group, all belonging to the Ummah, or Islamic community?

EU bureaucrat: Interesting. I know the OIC has a permanent delegation to the EU. Tell me more.

Islamofactist: Next, it is a fact that in 2021, the UN appointed a Special Rapporteur, Ahmed Shaheed, who dealt only with Muslims and Islam as a group and published a report entitled “Countering Islamophobia/anti-Muslim hatred to eliminate discrimination and intolerance based on religion or belief.”

EU bureaucrat: I believe you told me that yesterday. I took notes.

Islamofactist: Indeed, I did. Now, let’s look at another group. Is it a fact that ex-Muslim organizations like the Ex-Muslims of North America treat Islam as one that poses many challenges? Their website states, “No matter where one lives, leaving Islam carries an onerous price,” manifestly treating Islam as one despite all its diversity.

EU bureaucrat: Between you and me, these ex-Muslims are nothing but Islamophobes. Troublemakers, really.

Islamofactist: OK. So, let’s try another source. Is it a fact that the well-established Pew Research Center has conducted surveys, including one entitled “Muslims and Islam: Key findings in the US and around the world,” and thus is treating both Muslims and Islam as one group, irrespective of diversity within Islam and among Muslims?

EU bureaucrat: You may be right. But it’s an American research organization; you know their types. Not quite trustworthy. We have better ones in Europe.

Islamofactist: OK, so let’s come home to Europe. Is it a fact that the European Union, too, publishes reports solely focused on Muslims in Europe?

EU bureaucrat: Missed it. Damned inbox. When was that?

Islamofactist: (Googles and shows him) It’s called the “Second European Union Minorities and Discrimination Survey, Muslims — Selected findings,” published in 2017. It seems to be a fact that the EU, too, treats Muslims as one group, doesn’t it?

EU bureaucrat: Seeing is believing. You’re really hitting me with facts, aren’t you?

Islamofactist: Here’s one more. Isn’t it a fact that when Muslims complain of “Islamophobia,” they consider themselves as having only one identity, that of a Muslim, all under Islam, irrespective of whatever internal differences they may have?

 EU bureaucrat: Yes. They’re justified in doing so, if you ask me.

Islamofactist: If all the above consider Islam and Muslims as one group, then I, as an Islamofactist, ask for the same right. Wouldn’t that be reasonable?

EU bureaucrat: Let me see if I have understood you correctly. Based on your Islamofactist method, are you saying that we can treat Muslims as one group?

Islamofactist: Correct. Not the least because they view themselves as such. We can’t obviously ignore how a community sees itself, can we?

EU bureaucrat: Not so fast! People have different rules for their lives. They behave differently in their business lives regarding their health, physical environment, social life and romance. Everybody’s different. You can’t box Muslims into one overarching category. (Looks at his watch) I’ve got to run. You seem like a misguided fellow, but smart. I can’t have these conversations in my office, you know. Let’s meet tomorrow, shall we?

Islamofactist: Sure, I’m here for a few days before I go back to London.

EU bureaucrat: Great. I’ll brief my boss.

EU bureaucrat: (to the server) L’addition, s’il vous plaît.

They tussle over who will pay the bill and decide to split it. Outside, each goes their way, melting into the crowds.

[Cheyenne Torres edited this piece.]

The views expressed in this article are the author’s own and do not necessarily reflect Fair Observer’s editorial policy.